Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
