did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
