I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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