i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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