I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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