You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I didn't notice because vodka
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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