He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
