If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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