Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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