escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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