his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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