Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
