I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
