just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize