I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
