why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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