I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just forgot I was standing up.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
