Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
