i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
