So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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