I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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