and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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