I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
