Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
