My nipple is on Facebook.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize