i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
