apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
