I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The air was thick with penises
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
