I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
