I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
