Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
