69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
