My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
