you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
