I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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