I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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