I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
