i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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