found the other keg... it's in the tree
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
there is glitter all over my balls
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