I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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