I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
