Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
