you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
