I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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