Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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