hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
