whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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