I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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