you guys were way drunker than both of me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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