i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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